When I won a small part in a professionally directed summer production, I was ecstatic.  After the director agreed to let me sit quietly near him and observe I practically went into orbit.  Mr. Jones was amazing.  Often, he would turn to explain his thinking behind some bit of business he had given the actors, or to reference a source.  I learned more during that run of  “Teahouse of the August Moon” than I had attending four years of college drama classes.

Perhaps the most important lesson I learned was simply to not be afraid to ask someone I admire for help.

A Mentor Can Help You Work Through
 a Difficult Project or Assignment

During my career, I cannot begin to count the number of times I have called upon someone, for whom I held respect and admiration, to ask for advice.  Yet I don’t remember a single incident where I was rejected.  Sometimes the contact has been invaluable.   

A number of years ago, I was at a crossroads in my career.  I was stuck.  A friend suggested I talk to other financial planners who had practices that looked attractive to me, and see how they got where they were.  There were some excellent planners within a reasonable distance from my office.  I had heard some of them speak at national conferences and had actually been introduced to a couple of them at local industry functions.  But I was certain they wouldn’t remember me.

Deciding which of the half dozen planners to call was a problem.  There were things about all the practices that appealed to me.  I wrote out a short script, promising to stick it out until someone agreed to talk with me, and then dialed the first number.  I was surprised to be put through immediately.  Identifying myself as a financial planner, I explained that I had heard/met them at such and such a meeting, and hoped they might help me with a problem. 

“Sure!  Let’s have lunch one day next week.”  Not certain I heard correctly, I repeated myself, and was met with, “Why don’t you make up a list of what you want to know, and we’ll meet at noon.”  We set the date, and encouraged, I called the next planner on my list.  He, too, suggested a meeting, and asked if I was calling anyone else.  I told him about my list, and that I was meeting the first planner for lunch.  His response?  He asked to join us for lunch.  I stopped making calls and started my list of questions.

That luncheon turned my practice around.  Not only were the two planners eager to tell me about their practices and help me employ some of their strategies, but they were interested in what I was doing in my office.  Within six months, we were joined by the others on my list and set up a practice management study group that meets quarterly to this day.

During the initial months, I honestly felt I was the recipient of the greatest benefit.  Before long, it became clear that these “mentors” of mine were deriving just as much good as I was from the collective brainstorming.  Had I not made that phone call, asking for help, I’ve no doubt my practice would still be languishing out there somewhere. 

Finding a Mentor

My naiveté during those early years continues to amuse me.  Now that I’m in my sixties, I don’t have time to waste.  When I need mentoring, I go grab a mentor!  Not that I don’t take it seriously, but I feel a mentor should be specific to the subject requiring help.  To paraphrase an old adage: if you want to know how to build a watch, you’ll do better with a mentor who’s a watchmaker than with a mentor who only knows how to tell time.  That’s why I’ve developed a list of what I’m looking for in a mentor, and don’t just indiscriminately go on and on about my problem to any ear willing to listen.  A mentoring relationship is not a one-way proposition. 

VIEW MENTORING CHECK LIST

When the Financial Planning Interactive discussion boards first appeared, I went there in need of support as my practice evolved.  It was wonderful how forthcoming other planners were with ideas and recommendations.  Sometimes I would dare to correspond directly with a poster to thank them for an answer and request additional information.  Eventually, as I gained experience and expertise in my field, the roles began to reverse.  Today, I moderate the “Getting Started/Career Development” discussion boards, and find myself more and more the mentor.

One day I realized many of the same questions were being posted again and again by people new to the boards.  I knew a great deal about getting started in financial planning, and it became obvious to me that I should collect the answers into a book.  But I’m a financial planner, not an author.  What did I know about publishing a book?  Nothing.  Time to grab a mentor! 

After whipping out my checklists, it was a short path to Bob Veres.  In the financial planning industry, he is considered by many to be a visionary.  He writes for many related publications and seems to have his finger on cutting edge trends.  He obviously knows how to write, gets published all over the place, is respected in the business, and appears to know everyone! 

Oh, sure.  Like I could just pick up the phone and give him a call.  He probably doesn’t have anything better to do than talk to me.  LOL!

So I chickened out and e-mailed him.  That way he could respond in his own time – if he wanted to respond at all.  There was no way for him to know that he had already been my mentor for years.  I was flabbergasted when he responded in hours.  Not only did he respond, but actually encouraged me; told me my book was long overdue, and asked for a copy of my premise.  Before long, names of possible publishers showed up in my e-mail.

He volunteered (I didn’t even have to ask!) to edit the first chapter I wrote, and returned it to me with invaluable notations.  He suggested I talk with this guy and that gal, and include a chapter on thus and so.  When I was bogged down and discouraged because I didn’t have a committed publisher after a few months, he gave me a swift kick and told me to keep writing.  Soon after, I discovered the world of e-Publishing, and it was obvious that my book must be an e-Book!  Changes are rampant in the financial planning industry, and if I were to publish the traditional way, my book would be outdated before it ever hit the street! 

WHAT IS COACHING | MENTORING CHECKLIST