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Self-esteem 911
When Your Self-esteem is Tied to Title or Income
By Laura Dawn
Lewis
Excerpt from
Laid Off Now
What 2009
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This is a tough situation to
overcome because it generally means you will need to lose
everything or close to everything in order to rebuild
yourself from scratch.
The good news is, when its
all over with, you will be so thankful that you went through
the challenges and grateful for the inner peace and
confidence you've gained. You'll be a strong, more
effective person, your relationships will be more intimate
and your life will change for the better.
How you deal with the
self-esteem tied to title or income is ultimately a personal
journey because your objective is to discover who the real
you is and you'll have to separate the facade from the fact.
The following 15 tactics will help you do that.
The good news? Rejoice! You are not your job.
In fact, you're worth more than your job. Jobs can be
replaced. People cannot.
You are not your bank
account either. Money and wealth are inventions of
man. What represents value remains contingent upon the
context. Consider this: What would you rather have in
the middle of the desert with no chance of rescue and only
one way out? Enough water to walk to safety or a
billion dollars in gold?
Choose the gold, you're
dead. Choose the water, you live. In this scenario,
the gold is worthless and the water is wealth. The
lesson is simple. Your value as a human being isn't
dependent upon tangible assets. If you've been
successful before. Chances are, you'll be successful
again. You've got the skills to recreate success.
Right now there's a lesson
you need to learn and this lesson will open the doors to
future opportunities you can't foresee or imagine at this
time. If you find friends and colleagues avoid you now,
don't be surprised. Some people do consider your title
or bank account your worth. They're not your friends
and you don't need them. This journey will put you in
touch with new people who actually do value you for you.
Soon the veneers will be a memory and you won't miss them.
Look forward, not back.
The following fifteen
tactics will help you do that while freeing you from any of
the chains manufactured by self-esteem tied to title or
money.
The 15 Steps for overcoming
Self-esteem tied
to job or/and income
1. Make a list of your personality assets:
Friendly,
outgoing, good listener, etc. Delete any that refer to your title or the amount
of money you made. Look at what is left. This is how you define yourself.
2. Maintain regular contact
with your
friends
Avoid withdrawing from people. Men
especially will do this when things get tough. If you have a
friend who is unemployed, check in often. When people feel
vulnerable, they tend to isolate. This can be very
dangerous, especially if you or someone you know is prone to
depression, feels trapped
3. Create a Friends' List
Ask your close friends to write down at least ten
words they would use to describe your personality and why they like you. This is how
other people see you.
-
Compare your list with your
friends' lists.
Are
there similarities? Do your friends see you one way and you see yourself another?
-
Keep your friends' lists with you.
When you
feel down, read it and remind yourself who you really are.
4. Fake it 'til you Make it!
Keep your mind
filled with positive affirmations and repeat them every morning when you get up. In
time, you will start to live them and believe them, even if you feel silly saying them
right now.
5. Stay away from alcohol
and drugs
during this period.
Alcohol is a depressant and most drugs will prevent you from feeling what
you need to go through. You'll stay stuck in your present situation without having the
ability to get out.
6. Write down what you are afraid of.
Then
write down the worst case scenario.
I
cover this in more detail within the 7-proactive steps. Now, pretend like you are giving advice to a
friend. What would you tell them about these fears and What ifs? Write down your
advice to solving each fear and what you can do to overcome it or prevent if.
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